


pale blue eyes

by ediscn



Category: GLOW (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:42:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27677561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ediscn/pseuds/ediscn
Summary: set after the season three finale.
Relationships: Debbie Eagan/Ruth Wilder
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	1. 1

here i am, chasing her through a crowded airport. chasing her definitely wasn't a new concept. nothing could slow ruth wilder down. it's astounding. 

i run after her, calling her name, but she doesn't hear me until i catch up with her. she finally turns around. 

"what is wrong with you? you didn't hear me yelling your name?" i ask, annoyed. 

"no, what's wrong?" she answers. 

"nothing's wrong, it's..." i stop, not only to catch my breath, but to choose my next words carefully, "b-bash is buying a tv network, and i'm gonna be the president, and we're gonna program a new wrestling show with new characters because, you know, we...we have no legal rights to the old ones. amd...and...and i want you to direct it." 

she stands there, shocked, and probably confused, "debbie, how did you...?" 

"tex had a deal, and i fucking stole it." i laugh, "and i brought it to bash, and it worked. i mean, it fucking worked." 

i place my hands on her shoulders, "and i...i...i'm gonna build us an eden where we run the show. you and me. no more auditions, no more being at the mercy of these fucking idiots. we'll call the shots." 

she still looks confused, but chuckles, "and...you want me to...direct?" 

"if being an actor was gonna happen for you, it would've happened by now. how many times are you gonna break your own heart? you don't have to stay in vegas. you don't have to keep auditioning for people who don't...want you. because i found us an off-ramp that's also...god, it's a fucking catapult into our future! so i wanted to just tell you that. and that..." i hug her, "merry christmas." 

we hug for a few moments before ruth pulls away. 

"that's your catapult...not mine." 

i sigh, "oh, jesus. just say thank you."

she shakes her head, "i don't want what you want." 

"you don't wanna be happy? successful? uh, powerful?"

"i don't want an off-ramp. i never even got on the road." 

"so what are you gonna do? you're gonna..." i scoff, "read plays with sheila? come on, ruth. make a move!"

ruth looks at me, still shocked, and maybe a little hurt. 

"ma'am?" a voice calls to ruth, "excuse me, are you boarding this flight?" 

"sorry, we're just in the middle of something." i say. 

"we'll be closing the door to the jetway." the flight attendant replies.

"i'm coming." ruth says to her, but still looking at me. 

i watch her turn away and start to leave, "what are you...i don't understand you."

she looks back at me, "yes you do. probably better than anyone." 

she goes and hands her ticket to the flight attendant. she looks at me once more. i stare into those big blue eyes of hers, pleading silently. however, when that doesn't seem to work, i use my words. 

"don't." 

however, without a word, she turns around and boards the plane. 

i stand there, watching her go, feeling hopeless and lost. 

no, feeling like i had lost my best friend. 

and i realize in that moment that i can never truly have all that i want because the most magnificent thing i did with my life was loving her. 

as i said before, chasing ruth wilder isn't a new concept. i've been chasing her as long as i've known her, but somehow, she could probably say the same about me, but not to the same extent. 

we've been in a non-stop game of tug of war for years, and neither of us have won because the second one person gets closer, the other tugs and pushes them in the other direction.

god, why didn't i just let her get close?


	2. 2

wrestling is ironically a great representation of me and ruth's friendship, though wrestling is way more organized. 

ruth and mine's friendship is more of a match where one person decides to use a prop out of nowhere and seriously injures their opponent, but the two keep going at it to see if either of them make it out alive. 

she's my true ride or die, possibly because she will be the one to kill me. 

god, metaphorically, of course. ruth can do some pretty fucked up things, but she wouldn't kill me. 

outside of the ring we are in a cycle of emotional push and pull, then inside the ring we are in a physical cycle of push and pull. 

i let ruth into my world the slightest bit just to shove her back out. i hold her close just to slam her to the floor. 

i'm well aware that it's unhealthy and that i should have just shut her out completely a while ago, but i can't seem to do it. why did the person who fucked my husband also have to be the one person that i could never get rid of no matter what?

as much as i hate to admit it, it's not just because each and every time i push ruth away she comes crawling back. it's also the fact that i want her to come back. i keep testing her to see just how far she'll go, but each and every time she comes back like a goddamn boomerang. 

well, except for this time. this time it was me who felt like crawling back to her, and quite honestly i don't see how she fucking does it. 

me and ruth chase each other often, but i usually let her do the majority, and i don't exactly remember agreeing to us switching roles, but here we are.

she used to cower in my presence. i remember one particular instance as i sit in this airplane bathroom, trying to stop the waterfalls that my eyes have become. it was a wrestling practice back in california, long before the show moved to vegas. we couldn't seem to get our moves down, so we decided to stay late.

she was afraid to even get close to me, which was a problem considering the task at hand. 

"oh, for fucks sake!" i yell, absolutely sick and tired of her cowardice, "come on so we can do this move."

"i know, i know. i'm sorry, i just-" she starts. 

i cut her off, "i don't care what your excuse is. hell, just act like i'm mark. we both know you don't have any problem getting up close and personal with him." 

and just like that, ruth wilder is speechless, which doesn't happen often. 

she finally comes close, which ended up being a mistake on her part, because as soon as i get the chance to slam her to the ground, i do it with more force than necessary. ruth doesn't say anything, and i'm still not sure if it's because she didn't realize, or if she was just too afraid to say anything. either way, in that moment i didn't care, or at least i was trying not to. 

after we finished running through the match ruth just laid on the mat, staring at the ceiling. quilt began to eat away at me, as much as i tried to smother it. 

i sigh and extend a hand to help her up, "you okay?"

she takes my hand and nods, "yeah, i'm fine. and how are-" 

"don't even ask, homewrecker." i cut her off again. 

"yeah, alright." she says, nervously running a hand through her short, curly brown hair. 

"it looks like we've got it all down, so i'm gonna leave." 

"alright. bye, have a nice night!"

i don't respond, i just grab my things and go. chances are she watched me go. it seems that watching the other go is sort of our specialty.


End file.
